Euphoria
by Mydarkside975
Summary: ONE-SHOT: After 5x22 and before 6x01. Elena is dealing with her grief in a not so healthy way. What happens during one of those herb-induced hallucinations?


AN: You might have already noticed that this account belongs to my dark side. Last night past midnight, it demanded that I sit down and write this very angsty and somewhat dark one-shot.

While I am very happy with the progression of Delena on the show, I can't wait for Elena to get her feelings back. It's very satisfying to watch Elena longing for Damon and missing him. Because she can't remember her love for him, we're not getting much of that on the show so I felt like writing a little piece about it.

This is a ONE-SHOT of the time after 5x22 and before 6x01 where Elena is dealing with her grief in a not so healthy way.

Enjoy,

Mydarkside975

Ps. I listened to deadmau5 while writing this, mostly _Some Chord_. It just fit the mood perfectly. I was also inspired by the song _Waves_ by Mr. Probz (Robin Schulz Remix Radio Edit).

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><p><strong>Euphoria<strong>

Boom boom boom badoom… boom boom boom badoom...

The bass rhythm blares through the speakers, deafening my ears, the sound crushing into me and into the moving masses around me, flooding our senses and demanding our hearts to beat to that same rhythm, boom, boom, boom, badoom.

Even my usually still heart is beating, pumping stolen blood around in my body… stolen from the hundreds of moving bodies around me. All of their hearts are pumping fresh, young, delicious human blood along with an array of various chemicals that are not supposed to be there but are.

On this night of letting go and searching for that ultimate euphoria those chemicals are necessary. They take pills and I take blood and the result is the same; ecstasy for us all.

My eyes are closed and all my other senses are floating somewhere high above me and surfing on that wave of moving human bodies around me up, up, up…

I am dancing, a predator moving in this jungle of prey. I am a queen and this is my kingdom. A drop from a creamy neck, a pinch from a masculine wrist and a whole lot of more, more, more.

Their chemicals, their euphoria… It's all floating in me yet I can't seem to feel a thing besides empty, hollow. I can't feel a thing even though I never touched my switch. It is on but I feel off.

Nothing, no happiness, no sadness, not even boredom.

I just. Simply. Don't. Care.

It's ironic really since I used to be the one advertising the importance of feelings. I convinced him to care. I told him it was okay to care, that it was good for him. But caring gets you dead and that proved to be the truest statement of them all.

Ah well, let's not talk about such matters and return to the now, to the vibrations of the bass moving the small hairs on top of my head. Let's talk about the taste of blood on my tongue and the staggering scent of it mixed with sweat, sex and all sorts of legal and illegal substances.

Did I mention how sweet the taste of blood is? Well, it's heavenly but that is an oxymoron really because blood is sin, I am a sinner and sinners go to hell. It seems only fair that I get a taste of heaven before I go to hell or maybe it's my punishment, to be just outside of heaven's door, to be able to feel, smell and taste everything that I thought I might have, everything I ever longed for but was and is never meant to have before the door slams in my face and I fall. I fall down to the depths of hell.

Is this my hell? Or is there something worse out there?

I know that I'm damned so I choose to do what the damned do; whatever the hell I like.

Tonight I want to be dancing surrounded by oblivious humans and I want drink endless amounts of blood. I mean, why not? I'm already damned, I'm already dead and this is my hell.

Does Lucifer have fun down there or is it all eternal punishment and no fun?

Speaking of, I feel a hand brushing against mine. Just ever so lightly, skin brushing against skin and I let it happen. Then I feel hands against my arms and I let them. They get bolder and find more dangerous places to touch. They don't know that they're playing with fire. One little move from me and they will blink out of existence but tonight, I feel like letting them.

I keep my eyes closed, the hands are attached to strong, masculine arms and the arms attached to a body. A body that is flush against mine, moving with mine, hips against hips, back against chest and my head resting on his shoulder.

We are in sync. My curves fit against his lean, hard form. His scent stands out from the hundreds of other smells around me. His smell tells me everything about him, spicy, sharp and dark with a fleeting hint of sweet that only I can ever detect.

The music is still going; one song blending into another, all with a loud rhythmic bass that makes my heart beat. His heart beats too. Our hearts beat together, in sync.

I feel a tug at my arm. He's not behind me anymore. I follow him as he leads me through the moving masses.

This is it. Feeling. I am… excited. I'm curious.

When I feel the breeze hit my face, I finally open my eyes to stare into infinite blue. Crystal clear and magnetic. He smiles and I smile back.

In one move our lips lock and both sets of arms cling to each other, feeling, touching, sensing…

From there, things escalate. Hot kisses, teasing looks and skin against skin. We are soaring in blinding euphoria.

This is it. This is that piece of heaven inside of hell. This is him and me. We are in sync, bodies, hearts and souls.

I take a deep shaken breath to steady myself after this earth-shattering bliss and I open my eyes.

This time, I feel deep despair. It cuts me in half and shatters my world.

His eyes are too dark, his hair too light and his voice asking what's wrong is not deep enough but most agonizingly, his face is not _his_.

It's not him.

I just did _that_ … with a random idiot… thinking it's my dead boyfriend.

What the hell is wrong with me? What am I doing?

I compel him to leave and to forget about me. I look around the ally I'm in, trying to remember where I left my car.

Along the walk back to my car, a calm numbness settles over me. I'm not sad or happy. I'm just drifting. I'm drifting away. Wave after wave and I feel myself drown.

I sit in my car grabbing the wheel in my hands until they are white. I can't even feel that.

Luke!

I need to call Luke…

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><p>Thanks for reading. Please be so kind and leave a review.<p> 


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